This morning, P.J. almost threw out what was- easily- the best part of today's Tribune. It was the circular for the Grand Opening of Five Below, my new favorite five-bucks-and-under store (to which I have never been). It's almost like Peej doesn't even care about The Issues or Extreme Savings. Weird.
Let's do a close-up on that front cover, shall we? Okay, generically pretty girl, perhaps college-aged, happily wearing a Snuggie. Now, I can suspend my disbelief as well as anyone...but do you really think a girl like this is EVER going to willingly wear something proclaiming her to be an XXL?
Cheap posters? Fabulous! I've always wanted that awesome wall triumvirate of Adele, Justin Bieber, and...Angry Birds. On my wall. As a poster. Of Angry Birds.
I love a good snap bracelet- and at a buck, this is a good snap bracelet. But aren't these things still illegal in most states? I should know. I was around the first time that they were rendered unsuitable for school. I'm not saying I played a part in it...but there was a fourth grade dude named Chad who did NOT know how to back off and maybe he needed a little reinforcement from my leopard print suede-wrapped metal shiv of death. (But a dollar, you say?)
This is easily my favorite page in the circular. It's the College Kid Necessities page. And absolutely, hampers and that ilk are clutch (for the demographic that oh-so-rarely does laundry), but WHEN was the last time you heard someone say how imperative it was that they bring their own lava lamp? (Because, like, if the roomie is using their desk lava lamp, don't even think about ganking that action. Get your own, mooch.)
And the bottom left hand corner features the finest in funky, polka dotted cleaning supplies like plungers. For college. A college polka dot plunger. Welcome, Freshman!
Back cover. But don't be sad...because you could possibly score a free shirt imploring you to Chill Out! Still not planning to jaunt by the Grand Opening? Would a 5 cent hot dog change one's mind?
Even though you need to Limit 3.
Which is probably just plain ol' good life advice.
Unless your name is Kobayashi.
Or you have a really exceptional polka dotted plunger.