Big ol’ project, hmm?

Well, as some people may know by now on Facebook (I can’t believe I just typed that)…my “big project” was the pregnancy that I was trying not to blurt out! (And the hidden nausea, weight gain, etc, etc, [and sadly] etc…)


But yes! P.J. and I are expecting a kiddo in early November! Doesn’t that make it sound like we’re waiting by the front door, anxiously peering out the foyer curtains? Well, if you disregard the late night rehearsals, endless work weeks and traveltraveltravel, we essentially are.

The initial shock/surprise/blinkblinkblink moment when we discovered the newest Schoeny who was coming to call should have been filmed (not least of all the Mario Kart Wii coping mechanism- P.J.’s exact words whilst his eyes were glued to the game, “I hope you don’t take this as anything but excitement for you and the baby and myself, but I maybe need a MINUTE longer to process…” And then he handed me a controller. And I played, too.) And later I fell asleep in a mixture of crazy happiness and sheer exhaustion/nerves/bitsy bit o’ terror. It was kind of like the night we got engaged. With nausea.

And it has been slightly (extremely) hard to write plays, blog, clean the house or even play “not-lying- down games” with the kiddos for whom I nanny during these past few months when the “common symptoms” start setting in. Turns out, after the first little bit of excitement sets in, so does an incredible urge to let your head snap to one side while your eyes roll back in your head and your brain takes you from zero to coma in three seconds. Plus, I’ve been subsiding on Italian ice and tortilla chips. (Honestly- who craves ITALIAN ICE? I hadn’t given it a thought since 1989.) 

The advice and bizarre comments have also come pouring in. Two favorites?

“Boy, you guys don’t waste any time, do you?” 

This is wrong on so many levels. How do they know we haven’t been trying since we met? (We haven’t.) Are they actively picturing me in a nightie with a stopwatch? (Please don’t.) 

Also- “Enjoy it [reading/sleeping/time with the husband/travel/dinner/theatre/walking around] while you can…” 

Basically, anytime I’m seen doing anything remotely fun or exciting, at least one person per scenario has been known to drop that gem. I have two responses:

a) The major and all-encompassing way I’ve been enjoying “it” for the past 12 weeks has been to clutch my couch cushions at night hoping to ignore the waves of seasickness and whine to [the tech-rehearsal-bound] P.J. for some Italian ice, only to fall asleep during the second hour of TNT programming. 

b) Have you ever, EVER in your life enjoyed anything that people told you was almost over? It’s like the Sunday evening rule. No matter how much fun you’re having playing Tetris, as soon as someone tells you to “enjoy it now, Monday morning is coming awfully soon,” you lose all hope for having a carefree evening and instead start thinking of your 3rd grade worksheet that you’ve yet to complete. (Even IF you’re gonna be watching a Disney Sunday movie- nope. Ruined.)

That said, I am enjoying the heck out of eating anything and everything my stomach will allow (my system and I have come to an uneasy truce) and reading each week about what the kiddo’s doing. This week s/he is hiccupping and clenching and unclenching teenser fists!

Plus, we heard the heartbeat last night- 165! Pretty excitable kid.

Gosh. Who saw that coming?

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