The Ides of March. Wow. This is kinda serious, as far as days go. I suppose. Also, it’s my cats’ sixth birthday, so for me it’s not so much a bad luck day as it is an awesome celebratory pet day. Happy birthday, Ender and Beanie! Tuna in smallish dishes for days! (Or for exactly one meal!)
Yesterday was Pi Day, you know, 3.14- blahdiblahblahnumbers. But as I am married to a man with the symbol for pi tattooed on his shoulder blade, this is a big deal. (We celebrate allll the holidays at Chez Schoeny.) And yes, that’s right, I still count on my fingers, but happened to find and fall in love with a math…”guy”. “Nerd” is harsh…”geek” is a little too techie. Aficionado? Lover o’ numbers? Drunk at Mardi Gradi, forty bucks burning a hole in the ol’ pocket, way too close to a tattoo parlor?
I like that one.
The day before that (does the fun ever stop?) was the day when I decided to corn beeves and steam cabbage…and dress my infant daughter in a shamrock dress and lime green tights. (I would like to see you try to convince me that Nora is NOT one of my collectible porcelain dolls. It cannot be done.) This is how I celebrate St. Patrick’s Day lately. Staying in, curing meat, watching G-rated flicks. Way before I even had a kid I had tired of the pub crawling rainy day (somehow it ALWAYS rains on St. Pat’s weekend) face-painty drunken revelry/stupidity. It kinda seems like the same crowd that would be out there anyhow on a weekend- just [scantily] dressed in green.
Seriously. I bet I can tell you what happened:
a) At the dyeing of the Chicago River, someone fell in.
b) Wanting to look good/hot/Irish, someone wore inappropriate shoes/outerwear and fell/got cold.
c) Dropkick Murphys played somewhere, and someone got pumped full of pride.
d) Outside of a bar, a girl cried to her friends.
e) In a packed ladies’ room, a girl cried to her friends.
f) Someone met their soulmate. Temporarily.
g) More Jameson was consumed in Lakeview than by the entirety of Cork County. For the year.
Also, why the green beer? Real Irish beer should be…brownish. Or a dark reddish. Or a light tannish. The ‘ish’ does not include green.
But we digress. Back to the weekend.
Last night Pi Day was celebrated even further with warm pumpkin pie that Neil brought over (see what I did there?) and ice-cold Chelada beer from Nate (see: pregnancy posts. I love this stuff) so that the guys could watch The Pacific miniseries and bond over talk of war. To the best of my knowledge, none of them have ever been in the service- excepting perhaps Boy Scouts of America- but apparently nothing bonds them better. You should have seen the Band of Brothers days. Or, rather, I didn’t see P.J. on Band of Brothers days. (But hey, if they give me a slice of pie and a beer while I’m writing- game on.)
And now- two products that thoroughly, completely bother me.
QUIETUS. For tinnitus. I heard about this on the radio. It, you know, “quiets” that ringing, buzzing, terrible sound in your ears. The website actually has sound clips of what types of noise can be heard in the overworked inner ear. Thanks, Quietus, I couldn’t really picture what “shriek buzzing” would sound like. Does it work? Maybe. And that’s fabulous. However, the product comes in a dual action eardrop and TABLET? I can’t- and don’t want to- imagine how if the eardrops fail, chewing on something might work to tamp out the aftereffects of “rock music.” Sure, sure, chewing gum helps your ears stop popping on an airplane…but I think we [they] should go directly to the source and make the eardrop stronger. I am no student of medicine. Could someone explain this better to me?
And LATISSE. To grow eyelashes. I have definitely mentioned this before, but it still bothers me. Everyone loves long eyelashes- especially the advertising industry- but the side effect? Darkening of irises. That’s right, your gorgeous baby blues? Now a muddy brown. But your lashes are…slightly longer! Not worth it, I think. And I already have brown eyes! Look, falsies are still being made for a reason, ladies.
Lashes. False lashes.
I’ve left you with enough to ponder for a Monday morning.
I think you should all go do the “things” you do between blog postings.
I’ll wait.
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