Today is the second in our series of Throwback Mondays (#tbm- it’s now a thing) with this little bit of mockery inspired by Tom, my brother in-law. It makes me realize two things: one, that I still find this ridiculously funny, and two, that I had simply gobs of time on my hands back in ’08. Why wasn’t I, like, learning Mandarin or something?
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Sign Me Up!
(Originally posted June 17th, 2008)
This is an actual travel insurance payout list for an American Express Corporate cardholder (in this case, my brother in law, whom I dearly hope I am not jinxing as I have become quite fond of he and his beat-boxing ways.):
- Loss of life: $350,000 (Nothing funny here, although that is more than my husband’s life insurance policy. Maybe we should get an AmEx?)
- Loss of two or more hands or feet: $350,000 (I read this wrong the first time…)
- Loss of sight in both eyes: $350,000 (Like that episode of Quantum Leap where Sam was a concert pianist and was blinded by a flashbulb. But that was only temporary. And fictional.)
- Loss of speech and hearing: $350,000 (Might as well throw in breathing. What HAPPENED to you?)
- Loss of one hand or foot: $175,000 (That is indeed half of $350,000)
- Loss of sight in one eye: $175,000 (Like if you were poked.)
- Loss of speech: $175,000 (Is this like being rendered speechless?)
- Loss of hearing: $175,000 (Pretend you can’t talk and it’ll double.)
- Loss of thumb and index finger on the same hand: $87,500 (This is MIGHTY specific. On the same hand? And why not the middle finger and thumb? It makes a better claw.)
- Loss of carry-on bags: up to $1,250
- Loss of checked bags: up to $500
These last two seem downright paltry, now that I know how much money you have. Although I imagine if you lost my carry-on bag you may also have lost me along the way.
So I guess it all adds up.
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