21 things my daughters need to see me do (often):
My daughters need to see me apologize when I’ve truly, honestly messed up. To my husband, to my friends and, yep, to my kids. They also need to see me:
Hold out- and push for- a real apology when someone else has really, truly messed up. (And thoroughly eradicate “no worries” from my vocabulary as an automatic argument-ender when there should legit be some “worries.”)
(Stop saying/posting/pre-empting potentially upsetting/important conversations with “…I never say/post/bring up politics/religion/sex/feelings, but…” Literally no one of importance needs me to censor my core values to make their Facebook scroll a pleasant, vacant experience.)
Ignore mirrors.
Compliment myself– a lot.
Kiss their Dad– a lot.
Admit my shortcomings.
Share my battle plans.
Praise myself when I calculate something in my head/cook a meal from scratch/fix an appliance.
Cry in public when things are really, really hard or sad or painful.
Cry at home for the same reasons- or other ones, too. My daughters need to see that people cry when they need to cry, dammit, and sometimes it makes things better and sometimes it doesn’t, but there’s no time limit when you have to cry.
Listen with my whole being. Like, “eye contact” listening.
Be a friend, a helper, a volunteer, even if the kindness isn’t widely acknowledged. (Especially then.)
Advocate for them. And for me. And for people who can’t.
Read. At least once a day.
Ignore my phone. (At least once an hour.)
Work out, be active, and find (many) physical outlets that don’t have the words “Mommy and…” in the class description.
Pencil in down time– and hold that junk sacred.
Embrace the idea of sleep– and never ever use exhaustion as some sort of busyness badge of honor.
Ask for help– when it’s needed.
Politely shut it down when it’s not.
(Reach the threshold where “politely” no longer applies– and then my daughters need to see me bring nary a trace of the phrase “no worries” to that particular table.)
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21 things my son needs to see me do (often):
See above.
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