My sister just went to a wedding where they served fruitcake. That’s not right. Who serves fruitcake? Who likes fruitcake? Are you telling me that the bride and groom chose fruitcake to symbolize their [dessert] love? You don’t do that. As Johnny Carson used to say, there’s only one fruitcake in the world and it keeps getting passed from family to family. I wonder if it was a gift. You know how some people will inevitably complain if there’s only {Read More}

Ooh, it’s a sticky day. Took the Western express bus to work (or, as I like to say “Expresstern”) which means I showed up late and ripe. P.J. is convinced that a person’s smelliness on the bus can rub off on you- literally make you stinky for the day by relative osmosis. I hope he’s wrong, ’cause I spend an awful lot of time on the Blue line, or, using its street name, the Pee Pee train. Good morning! Speaking {Read More}

Okay, this is pretty special. You don’t see this sort of thing just browsing up and down the aisles of your local Jewel Osco every day. But that’s just what I did! Let’s start with the obvious. Your love is Beyond Words. But just the right size for framing! And it’s clearly intended as a gift…for a wedding? Bar Mitzvah? I can’t imagine anyone buying it for themselves. (Honey, I found this right there in the store- it’s like they {Read More}

Do you know who’s great? (Do you think this is a poor way to start a blog? Discuss.) Patrick Swayze. The man has pancreatic cancer yet continues to work on a new cop drama in which he plays a “gritty FBI agent.” Patrick! I realize I am late to the party in acknowledging your illness, but I had no idea you were still filming cop dramas! I love cop dramas! And I love you! Nobody puts Patrick Swayze’s career in {Read More}