Donesville. Okay, this is getting nuts. By tomorrow morning at this time- if all goes according to plan- I will be holding the newest member of the mini Schoeny family. Which blows my mind right outta my head and plops it onto the dining room table, which I have yet to stop dusting. It’s very strange to know precisely when your pregnancy will be done. And at the same time, you almost wish you’d go into labor (regardless of how wonky {Read More}
Ice Cream, Anxiety, And Public(ish) Peeing.
September 29, 2011 By 3 Comments
Last night I had an illicit dream. About ice cream. Apparently, my subconscious wants a giant mug of ice cream with all of the add-ins, swirls, and goopy goodness. The best part? My older sister was in the grocer’s freezer section with me (I never call it that, the grocer’s freezer, by the way- I think that’s commercial lingo finding its way into my vernacular) and SHE was the one who was all like- Diabetes? COME ON. You have less than a week. {Read More}
Apple Pie Is For Sharing.
September 28, 2011 By 2 Comments
…As long as that means “Keep the fork coming.”
Date Night Month Meets Tired Parents And Toddler
September 26, 2011 By 1 Comment
I shall not be moved. Remember waaay back in the Fall of ’09, pre-Nora Junebug Jane, to be exact? We deemed that frantic and aggressively fun time Date Night Month. It was great. It was fulfilling. And- as it turns out- it was a completely unnecessary step for which to greet a new baby. In retrospect, we probably should have saved those pennies for things like diapers, wipes, and boxes of Franzia. (Having a baby is stressful.) Past helpful knowledge totally disregarded, {Read More}
The Media Speaks To Me.
September 22, 2011 By 2 Comments
This morning, P.J. almost threw out what was- easily– the best part of today’s Tribune. It was the circular for the Grand Opening of Five Below, my new favorite five-bucks-and-under store (to which I have never been). It’s almost like Peej doesn’t even care about The Issues or Extreme Savings. Weird. Let’s review. Let’s do a close-up on that front cover, shall we? Okay, generically pretty girl, perhaps college-aged, happily wearing a Snuggie. Now, I can suspend my disbelief as well {Read More}
Before And After.
September 21, 2011 By 1 Comment
S.U.B.L.I.M.E. times infinity to the moon and back.
Squalor No More! (Until Next Week!)
September 19, 2011 By 1 Comment
Her house is actually cleaner. Okay, the baby can come any time now. Well, actually, give me about an hour, Baby Monkey- for you see, our home is being cleaned. And- this is the kicker- by people who know what they’re doing. They are vacuuming the couch.They are scrubbing and disinfecting the tubs as opposed to just, like, vaguely wiping/spraying them down with an after-shower spray. [P.J.: You only wipe them down? Keely: Yes. I didn’t want you to have to find {Read More}
Someone Bring Me A Dustmop. Or A Pillow.
September 15, 2011 By 2 Comments
Putting on brass knuckles. I should not be left to my own devices. This includes all of the times where Nora is napping, I am caught up on household dirtiness, writing deadlines are breezed through, and P.J. is off doing something P.J.-like (i.e., watching Mad Men, showering, or building a door frame). What, you ask? There are times when all of these forces align and you find yourself with free pockets of the day, gaps of the afternoon and/or early {Read More}
