That Time I Gouged Out My Eye: A Wedding Story.

Last weekend, I had a simply awesome time helping my youngest sister pick out a gorgeous wedding dress with friends, my other two sisters, and my Mom. But this post is not about that. Jasper took his very first flight as well, and was a model citizen of the sky. This post is not about that, either. I extended my trip for some much-needed chill time with my Dad and Mom; the former because he needed a high-five from me {Read More}

<—Not Brave.

Nora is covered in band-aids. Five of them, to be exact. On her bruised, teensy tiny upper arms. I have one band-aid. But I care not for my own pain- for it is my penance. Oh, sure, Nora was thrilled to see the doctor and her nurse pals this a.m. What’s not to like? Cool artwork (for her, anyway- she’s not too discerning yet), tons of stuff to poke and touch, people telling her how big and strong and pretty she is… {Read More}

Don’t trust that smile.

Nora and I just returned from her nine month checkup and I’m happy to report that she is indeed growing. And moving. And hitting milestones- in fact, she’s knocking ’em over like a sprinter catching his track shoes on a series of hurdles. Which, you know, isn’t usually a positive metaphor, but one that kept popping into my head. Kick, thwack, karate chop. Milestones. She’s still in the 10-25th percentile for height and head size (yay, consistent brains!) and solidly {Read More}

We are still drowning in scones. What a way to go.

Nora is currently not speaking to me. This is incredibly hard for her to get across, seeing as she is all of four months old.  Her success in doing so makes it even more harsh. So, why the cold onesie?I let a [relatively] complete stranger hold her down and jab three needles in her thighs, after subjecting her to the humiliation of sucking on a bitter dropper full of something supposedly medicinal. Then I blew in the direction of her {Read More}

Survivor’s "Vital Signs" on vinyl? Yeah, she digs that one, too.

How on Earth has it been seven weeks since Nora arrived and filled my dryer with hundreds of miniature pastel socks? (They’re printed with Mary-Janes on the toes- she has about fifteen different colors, quite a feat. HAH.) Other big changes: our upstairs is now outfitted with a cool mist humidifier (no one ever gave a damn about MY nose in the winter!), various play areas in brightly contrasting hues are present on each floor (okay, only half are Nora-specific), {Read More}

I feel like I should want to remember how to desire non-baby things. Oh well.

First off, happy two week birthday to my little gal, Miss Nora Jane! (Two weeks? You mean, after all of this crazy pregnancy business and madcap preparation…two weeks can go by like THAT? I turned to Peej at the 4am feeding and sorrowfully told him that she’s getting too big. He pointed at her and said “She is SO teense,” with a ‘Don’t start that already’ look on his face. This from the guy who wants twelve more.) Also, Happy {Read More}

Are they trying to intimidate me?

Well, I needn’t have been worried. With the end of Great Expectations (the class, not the book- I finished that in ’96) I feared that my baby saga would no longer be funny- or, worse yet, no longer bring up relevant and timely pregnancy ads on my sidebar. (Have you noticed them? I get maybe an eighth of a cent every time you use one. Click click, people!) As it turns out, being pregnant is still SO MUCH FUN that {Read More}

Thirty weeks! That sounds close.

It kinda feels like I’m in the “official” part of my pregnancy- like, now that it’s ten weeks or less ’til Baby Central, this means that I actually have to HAVE THE KID. And other such fun. I’m thoroughly NOT enjoying the every two weeks appointments. The constant poking, prodding and weigh-ins make me feel less Earth Mother and more Rocky Post-Retirement. Or like a science experiment gone horribly awry. (“Why are you still gaining weight?” “Well, until the kid {Read More}